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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23948203">Capture the fla... the rogue alchemist!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/We_stan_Nikolai/pseuds/We_stan_Nikolai'>We_stan_Nikolai</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Banter, Canon Divergence, Case Fic, Chase fic, Edward Elric Keeps Alchemy, Edward Elric Keeps Automail, Edward Elric Swears, Established Relationship, Established RoyEd, Fluff, General Roy, Humor, M/M, Married Couple, Mentions of Blood, Ratet T for language, bounty hunter AU, i think, post-canon AU, the generals are dicks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:16:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,602</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23948203</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/We_stan_Nikolai/pseuds/We_stan_Nikolai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The military is searching for a former state alchemist gone rogue. After some convinving, Bounty Hunter Elric is involved in the case.</p><p>//"Roy opened the front door to a puddle of blood in the hall.<br/>While it was normally considered “strange” or “frightening” or even “remotely weird” to find a puddle of the red life juice in ones hall, it was tragically common for the General to come home to similar appearances, so he didn´t bother exclaiming, screeching or calling the police.<br/>Eyeing the puddle with suspicion, he searched for the source of it, trying to determine whether he would need to get paramedics or cleaning supplies.<br/>Following the trail of smaller drops of blood, his gaze found a pair of bloodied boots in front of the shoe rack. He sighed, making a mental note to remember to clean the mess up later."\\</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edward Elric/Roy Mustang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Capture the fla... the rogue alchemist!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>not beta-ed, all mistakes are mine etc etc</p><p>Tags will be updated if necessary</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roy opened the front door to a puddle of blood in the hall.</p><p>While it was normally considered “strange” or “frightening” or even “remotely weird” to find a puddle of the red life juice in ones hall, it was tragically common for the General to come home to similar appearances, so he didn't bother exclaiming, screeching or calling the police.</p><p>Eyeing the puddle with suspicion, he searched for the source of it, trying to determine whether he would need to get paramedics or cleaning supplies. Following the trail of smaller drops of blood, his gaze found a pair of bloodied boots in front of the shoe rack. He sighed, making a mental note to remember to clean the mess up later, before shrugging off his coat and hanging it next to the suspiciously empty hook above the boots on the coat rack. After putting his boots down next to the dirty pair he strained his neck to see if the drops of blood went upstairs. And they did.</p><p>Releasing another sigh, Roy followed the trail, coming to a halt on the threshold of the guest bathroom – or the “clean up bathroom” as they had decided to call it, to minimize the blood damage done to their bigger, nicer bathroom.</p><p>He was greeted by a muttered complaint. “This is another fucking reason I used to wear fucking red!” There, in midst of the bathroom, bend over the edge of the small tub (in comparison to the other tub in their bathroom, at least) sat his husband, muttering curses and trying to rinse the apparently copious amounts of blood out of his brown coat he wore to work.</p><p>“What happened this time?”</p><p>Ed flinched violently, not having noticed him coming home. “Dammit Bastard, can you not be this silent for once?”</p><p>Roy simply chuckled. “Hello to you too. You made a mess in the hall, care to explain?”</p><p>Ed grumbled something, probably garnished with colorful curses.</p><p>“What was that, darling?”</p><p>Golden eyes stared up at him and narrowed. “I said, there's a mess in the hall because my coat is a fucking mess and just would not stop dripping blood fucking everywhere.”</p><p>Another sigh escaped the soldiers lips, this time accompanied by a fond eye roll. “Do I have to get the med kit or is soap enough?”</p><p>“Soap's enough.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>When Roy returned a few moments later with washing soap and a few towels, he found Ed still sitting by the tub, watching the coat soak in cold water. The ravenette knelt down next to him and took the brush out of Eds automail hand, starting to work the soap into the fabric.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>The blonde released a sigh and slumped forward a bit – unnoticeable to anyone who wasn't Roy, Al or maybe Winry. “Had the asshole cornered, was just about to grab him as his buddy showed up. I got 'em both in the end, but I kinda caught his arm with my blade, soo... Well, let's say arms have heavy blood flow, and, if separated they bleed like shit – and I'm speaking from experience here, let me tell 'ya.” Roy hummed in response.</p><p>“Anyways, he pretty much ruined my coat. Honestly, this is why I should keep wearing red! Once you get the worst out of it, you don't see the stains. But doubt we'll get all of this out of <em>brown.</em>”</p><p>“You do realize that your red coat is really... in-your-face, right?”</p><p>Ed scoffed. “I know, I know. Bounty Hunter, secretive, I know the shtick. But still – this is, like, the fourth coat in the last three months?”</p><p>“Think so. But hey -” Roy raised the soaking coat out of the tub. “- We might get to keep this one, I think I got all of it. Just put it to dry, I'll get down and make some coffee, alright?” Ed hummed appreciatively and went to put the coat on the drying rack while Roy went downstairs to brew the promised drink.</p><p> </p><p>“How was your day? Havoc still blabbering about that new chick?”</p><p>Roy grinned. “Yes, but today he talked about how awesome their dinner date yesterday was. He is sure that he'll keep this one.”</p><p>Ed snorted into his cup. “Speaking of dinner...”</p><p>Roy rolled his eyes again. “You're insatiable. I swear, were do you put all that stuff? It's not like there's a lot of space to – ow!”</p><p>Ed grumbled, retreating his right arm from where he had <em>slightly brushed </em>his husbands shoulder. “Serves you right, I'm not even that much smaller than you anymore!”</p><p>Lifting his hand to rub at the affronted limb, the General answered. “I was talking about how you have almost no body fat on you! Jeez, if you treat me like this, how do you treat your victims?”</p><p>The blonde grinned. “Better.”</p><p>“Brat.”</p><p>“Bastard.”</p><p>“Idiot.”</p><p>“Asshole.”</p><p>“Darling.”</p><p>“... Cheater.”</p><p>Roy started laughing, dodging another <em>friendly </em>punch to the shoulder. “Only the truth. So, dinner?”</p><p>“Takeout.”</p><p>The General nodded. “Yeah, sure. What?”</p><p>“Cretan”</p><p>Roy nodded and went to place the order via call.</p><p> </p><p>Later, when they were readying themselves for bed, Ed asked the question again. “Now, seriously. How was work? You have any hints?”</p><p>Roy just shook his head tiredly. “No, nothing. It seems like she vanished into thin air.” The military had been searching for an escaped alchemist. She was revealed to have worked with Solf J Kimblee back in the day, and now she apparently managed to not only escaped the military, but also steal some important files.</p><p>“Hmm.” Ed tugged a loose shirt over his head.</p><p>“And I feel like we're missing this obvious hint, but I just can't spot it! Fuhrer Grumman is expecting information, and we don't even have the slightest idea how too get to her.” Roy proceeded to tug a shirt over his body as well, and then climbed into bed next to Ed.</p><p>“Why don't you let me help?”</p><p>Roy turned to look into his husbands eyes. “Because it's not your job.”</p><p>“My job is to find people who escaped from law enforcement. That is literally my job description, Roy.”</p><p>“It's not your job to find and fight an escapist former state alchemist with connections to Kimblee.”</p><p>Ed raised his eyebrows. “Roy, you can't be serious. I fought Kimblee when I was a teenager. Fuck, I fought <em>homunculi </em>as a teenager, I think I can deal with one former state alchemist. Fire with fire, eh?”</p><p>Roy's lips formed into a smile. “I know, Ed.” He exhaled, and pulled Ed closer to him. “I know you could do it. And, to be honest, I want you to help us, because I don't think we'll find anything without your help. But-”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“- when I proposed the idea to involve you, some of the other soldiers were... Not on board with it. Something about not taking a civilians' help and no need for bounty hunters.”</p><p>“You're kidding.”</p><p>Roy closed his eyes. “I wish I was.”</p><p>Ed mumbled something about “military shits” and “who're they calling a fucking civilian”, but proceeded to lay his head on Roy's chest. “I'll come with you to the office tomorrow. Don't have any open bounties at the moment anyways, so why not have a little fun?”</p><p>Roy chuckled and pressed a kiss to Eds temple.”Alright.”</p><p>Ed grinned and moved his head a little, placing a kiss on his husbands lips. “Great. Good night, Roy.”</p><p>“Night, darling. I love you.”</p><p>“Love you too.”</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Havoc found that nothing was unusual this morning. He had woken up, fulfilled his morning routine, and drove to Mustangs house to pick the general up as always, however, he did have a slight intuition that something would be different. And oh, how right he was.</p><p>He got out of the car and walked up to Mustangs front door as usual. He pressed the doorbell as usual. But when the door opened, he was greeted by a great surprise: The Fullmetal Alchemist opened the door.</p><p>Now, it was no surprise that Ed was <em>there.</em> They'd all been at the wedding after all, and they'd all been third-wheeling for a long time before that particular event.</p><p>No, the surprise was – it was seven in the morning. Edward did not wake up before noon – at least not when he didn't have to. And, if Havoc remembered correctly, the General had spoken about Ed returning from a hunt yesterday. And he didn't seem cranky or anything, which resulted in Havoc thinking Ed would not have another bounty to collect in the next time. But again – it was seven in the morning, and Edward Elric-Mustang had just opened the door – with a grin on his face. So, either the world was ending or Jean was dreaming, because this.didn't.happen.normally.</p><p>“Ed, what... what are you doing here?”</p><p>Ed's grin grew even bigger. “I happen to live here, Havoc.”</p><p>“I know. But-”</p><p>“What's got your mind twisted today?”</p><p>“It's seven AM.”</p><p>Eds eyes widened with realization. “Ah. No worries, everyone's fine, this ain't a regular occurrence. I'm just coming into the office today.”</p><p>Havoc nodded. “So, are you ready then?”</p><p>“Wait a sec.” Ed turned over his shoulder to shout into the wide hall. “Oi, Bastard, Jean's here, you comin'?”</p><p>“I'm here, I'm here.”, rambled Havoc's boss, closing the top button of his uniform.</p><p>“Good. Get in the car, I wanna bully some military dudes. Jeez, I haven't done this in a long time”</p><p>Roy stared at his husband. “You bully me all the time.”</p><p>The blonde looked at him questioningly. “Yeah, and?”</p><p>“I am a military dude.”</p><p>“You're not a dude. We have sex.” Havoc was torn between blushing, laughing, and shutting down completely.</p><p>“Okay, get in the car, dear, you're confusing poor Mr Havoc.” Once both men were seated in the backseat of the car Havoc released a mighty breath. This was going to be a long trip to the office.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Ed really didn't come in to the office enough, he thought. This was so much fun. Countless people either started rambling upon seeing and recognizing him as <em>the </em>Fullmetal Alchemist, or they didn't recognize him and treated him like any other civilian – that was to say, rather rudely, since civilians normally did not belong into Central Command.</p><p>Well, those treatments tended to only occur with people who'd never met him before, since those who had already knew him and his distaste of being hailed to. But, either way, he loved coming into the office, if only for the sake of embarrassing and distracting Roy, who didn't think having your husband treated badly <em>or</em> like a saint was as much fun as Ed thought it was, and was of the strong opinion his team favored his husband over him a great deal. Which was, of course, totally not true – at least not that the team would admit it, since Mustang was at least kind of responsible for their paychecks and overtime.</p><p>Another fun thing, at least in Ed's opinion, about coming into the office was deceiving those who didn't know who he was. He already had his fair share of flustered secretaries being embarrassed after learning he was married to a general, as well as a few people who got shit duties for disrespecting a former state alchemist and savior of their country, not to mention for disrespecting a commanding officer's spouse. Ed thought it was fun, though, and even Roy had to admit it was helpful to get insight into how his people treated civilians. And not only his people.</p><p> </p><p>They were sat in a big meeting room around a big table, in between people who thought themselves big personas. Big personas, who somehow hadn't gotten the memo about their fellow general Mustang being married to the former Fullmetal Alchemist. Or rather, banned it from their mind because they didn't care and/or didn't like it. Either way, Ed was harvesting a lot of meant-to-be-nasty faces, and he was having the time of his life doing it. Roy... not so much. While he was definitely amused by the general awkwardness within the room – after learning that the “civilian” was not so much a civilian at all, nobody really wanted to say anything against him – he didn't fancy people disregarding the person most important to him because he wasn't directly a soldier anymore. But, alas, his husband enjoyed the chaos and confusion he'd caused, and since the Fuhrer would be joining them in a few minutes, he had decided to let the others wallow in the awkwardness for a while.</p><p>The door opened with great bravado, and in stepped the Fuhrer of Amestris. The people around the table rose from their seats and saluted, all with earnest faces and determined expressions. Well, all but Edward. While he had stood up as well, his salute seemed, for lack of a better word, mocking, and his face spread in a grin.</p><p>“At ease, gentlemen.” Grumman sat down on the head of the table, everyone else following suit. “Any news on the Jenson case?”</p><p>A general opposite of Roy spoke up. “Nothing much, Sir. She seemingly disappeared into thin air, didn't leave a trail behind.”</p><p>Grumman nodded. “I suppose that is why our special guest is here today?” He looked at Ed, who reclined in his chair.</p><p>“Indeed, Fuhrer Grumman.”</p><p>Another General started babbling. “Sir, we want to inform you that General Mustang brought him along without notifying us first, his involvement in the case is not yet decided.”</p><p>Grumman nodded thoughtfully. “Mr Elric, you are currently working as a bounty hunter, correct?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Well then, General Marcus, I think General Mustang made an appropriate decision. The idea to involve a bounty hunter is just what we need to find Jenson.”</p><p>“But, Sir... He's a civilian. Since when are civilians involved in military operations just because they are married to a military officer?”</p><p>“You call me a civilian? You are aware of the fact that I worked for the military since I was twelve, aren't you?” Ed was being sarcastic, if the smirk and his tone were any indications.</p><p>“And you quit. Therefore, you, Mr Elric, are a civilian.”</p><p>“General Diaz, Mr Elric is, in fact, still working for the military. He does exactly what we are trying to do for a living, and I am sure he will be able to help us.” The General who had spoken, General Harrow, was one of the few high-ranking military officers Ed liked.</p><p>“I refuse to be working with someone who kills for a living!”</p><p>Ed raised an eyebrow at General Marcus. “Bounty hunting and assassination are different things, 'ya know? And killing for a living? Am I not sitting in a room full of soldiers?”</p><p>Grumman chuckled in his chair. “Gentlemen, it is decided, Mr Elric will assist in the Jenson case. He'll get all the necessary information and files. We'll meet again in a week, and then I want answers. Fall Out.”</p><p> </p><p class="Standard">After everyone had cleared the room, it was only Roy, Ed and Fuhrer Grumman left.</p><p class="Standard">“Well, Mustang, I would advise to inform your fellow Generals, next time you bring an uninvited guest.”</p><p class="Standard">Roy stood at attention.</p><p class="Standard">“Yes, sir. I only brought him in uninvited because the others did not want to include someone outside this circle.”</p><p class="Standard">Ed did not stand at attention – because of course he didn't.</p><p class="Standard">“Yeah, 'cuz they're idiots.”</p><p class="Standard">Roy sighed internally. How he had ever dealt with this blatant disrespect for authorities, he'd never know. Grumman however seemed amused.</p><p class="Standard">“Sometimes I think that as well, Mr Elric-Mustang.”, he remarked with a wink.</p><p class="Standard">Great. Just what Roy needed – his boss and husband getting along.</p>
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